Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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