It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
