I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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