I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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