Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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