i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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