Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Farmville is her only friend.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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