Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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