Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
