yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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