i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
