Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
