that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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