We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
