One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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