matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
