We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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