I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
