I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
