Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
