Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
