I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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