Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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