when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
