I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
