ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
