I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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