Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
