And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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