on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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