I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
