saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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