Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
