Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she peed on how many people?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
