i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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