Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
