At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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