When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
