So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
