I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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