I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize