Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need water and some morals
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
