what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize