My friends, they love my intelligence
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
