Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
