sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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