Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
