I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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