Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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