U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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