Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
