All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
