i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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