I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
