I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
