Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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