So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
