everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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