how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
