Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it was like eating out sand paper
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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